Skip to main content

it's complicated.


One bad part of being an adult is that no one asks you if you can run faster in your new shoes.

 Well, in case you're wondering, I'm pretty sure I can. Thanks for [not] asking. 


A couple of weeks ago I was having a very restless kind of day, so I ran for quite a while. And as I ran, I found myself waving and yelling “hello!” to every single person walking, sitting on their porch, or driving with their windows open. If you know me at all, you can probably guess that this is not normal for me. If you've ever walked or hiked with me, I can guarantee you're the person saying hello to the passersby, not me. 
This Stay Home, Stay Safe thing is doing weird stuff.


 43 is the number of miles I've run since mid-March when the [Michigan] world started to shut down- I’ve had a lot of restless days. I'm not telling you about my mileage to brag. In fact, when my running tracker was like, "Wow! You've run this many miles!", for some reason, I had a bittersweet reaction. I realized my ability to run is directly correlated to the fact that I have time. In fact, I really have very little else to do. I have enough daylight (which is my usual issue when it comes to finding time to run in normal life) and I have enough energy.  I like running and I've probably never been stronger. But I would give up this ability to run at any time of the day to be with my kids at school. To be at my church. To go on a hike or get coffee with friends. To see my friends' babies that are growing up so quickly.


I'm thankful for all this time I have to run and do things I don't normally have time to do.
But I wish I could be back to what seems like a more fulfilling way of life, when I had to block out time in my day to run.
But I'm thankful.
But I wish.
But I'm thankful.


It's complicated.


I hope that some things will go back to normal. My job, my friends, community, coffee shops (please Lord, the coffee shops). I also hope that I don't lose the desire to smile in someone's direction to make them feel more comfortable. I hope that the drive I have to help and be involved in my community doesn't go away. I hope that I won't take face-to-face interactions or the ability to go places freely for granted.


As I endure and strengthen my character, I gain a little more hope every day. And hope does not disappoint, because God is with me.

Confession: In true Princess Diaries form, I look back at all I’ve written and think: “And then I realized how many stupid times a day I used the word ‘I’… and how lame is that when there’s, like, 7 billion other people on the planet…” 
So, here is something for you:

As you endure and strengthen your character, you gain a little more hope every day. And hope does not disappoint, because God is with you.


We can be thankful and hope for something better.


And that about sums it up. Stay strong.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by!

Popular posts from this blog

Pilate and I.

Every Easter, the same story is told. Yet every year, despite myself, I see something new. Sometimes I'm pretty sure it slaps me across the face: Source: RossRightAngle So when Pilate saw that he was gaining nothing, but rather that a riot was beginning, he took water and washed his hands before the crowd, saying, “I am innocent of this man’s blood; see to it yourselves.” And all the people answered, “His blood be on us and on our children!” Then he released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, delivered him to be crucified. There's a reason those words stuck out to me, so let me rewind. I work with what I generally refer to as a "group of wily fifth graders" in an after school childcare center. Unless you work closely with ten year olds, there's no way to understand: 1) How funny they are, 2) How irrational they can be, 3) How much they lack the big picture of... mostly anything. A good portion of my education has been centered in child develo...
1 comment
Read more

look for the helpers.

   At the end of the Fred Rogers documentary, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” the interviewer told every one of the interviewees (friends, family, and coworkers of Fred Rogers) “Think of someone in your life that has helped you.” While they were recorded deep in thought, something truly fascinating occurred: Their faces changed when they thought of their helper. They smiled a little or nodded. Their eyes shone with clarity as if they immediately understood the person's effect on their life course. The documentary- in true Fred Rogers style- not only gave the interviewees time to think about their helpers but also held space for the viewers. So when I wasn’t in awe of the changing facial expressions, I was thinking about the helpers in my life. And there are so many. I would do well to think of them more often. To thank them more often. As for Mister Rogers, he didn’t have a huge impact on my life. I didn’t watch his show every day, I didn’t like puppets all that mu...
Post a Comment
Read more

12 things I learned as a camp counselor.

  All rights to the photo go to thepowerofcamp.com Disclaimer: This is in no way an exhaustive list of the things I've learned as a counselor at Grace Adventures ; it's just the first twelve things that came to mind.   1. You can always choose to have a good day or a bad day. It's completely up to you, and you can't let others' pessimism get you down; in fact, part of choosing a good day for yourself is creating an environment of positivity to help your team make the same choice. 2. You can't, however, choose anybody's attitude but your own. This was a difficult truth for me to learn, but an oh-so-very necessary one. 3. Rainy days can be great. Of course, this is an attitude to be chosen as well, but some of my best memories of camp are the dance parties and crazy skits that happen when we can't be anywhere but inside. Also, when it's a super hot summer and you live in a dust bowl, standing out in the middle of a thunderstorm is a wonde...
1 comment
Read more