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it's complicated.


One bad part of being an adult is that no one asks you if you can run faster in your new shoes.

 Well, in case you're wondering, I'm pretty sure I can. Thanks for [not] asking. 


A couple of weeks ago I was having a very restless kind of day, so I ran for quite a while. And as I ran, I found myself waving and yelling “hello!” to every single person walking, sitting on their porch, or driving with their windows open. If you know me at all, you can probably guess that this is not normal for me. If you've ever walked or hiked with me, I can guarantee you're the person saying hello to the passersby, not me. 
This Stay Home, Stay Safe thing is doing weird stuff.


 43 is the number of miles I've run since mid-March when the [Michigan] world started to shut down- I’ve had a lot of restless days. I'm not telling you about my mileage to brag. In fact, when my running tracker was like, "Wow! You've run this many miles!", for some reason, I had a bittersweet reaction. I realized my ability to run is directly correlated to the fact that I have time. In fact, I really have very little else to do. I have enough daylight (which is my usual issue when it comes to finding time to run in normal life) and I have enough energy.  I like running and I've probably never been stronger. But I would give up this ability to run at any time of the day to be with my kids at school. To be at my church. To go on a hike or get coffee with friends. To see my friends' babies that are growing up so quickly.


I'm thankful for all this time I have to run and do things I don't normally have time to do.
But I wish I could be back to what seems like a more fulfilling way of life, when I had to block out time in my day to run.
But I'm thankful.
But I wish.
But I'm thankful.


It's complicated.


I hope that some things will go back to normal. My job, my friends, community, coffee shops (please Lord, the coffee shops). I also hope that I don't lose the desire to smile in someone's direction to make them feel more comfortable. I hope that the drive I have to help and be involved in my community doesn't go away. I hope that I won't take face-to-face interactions or the ability to go places freely for granted.


As I endure and strengthen my character, I gain a little more hope every day. And hope does not disappoint, because God is with me.

Confession: In true Princess Diaries form, I look back at all I’ve written and think: “And then I realized how many stupid times a day I used the word ‘I’… and how lame is that when there’s, like, 7 billion other people on the planet…” 
So, here is something for you:

As you endure and strengthen your character, you gain a little more hope every day. And hope does not disappoint, because God is with you.


We can be thankful and hope for something better.


And that about sums it up. Stay strong.
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